May 29th

5/29/08
Today we had our dodgeball team thingy. It was officially the last day I’ll probably see the NHS seniors. It makes me sad. I know as of now I don’t have many my-age friends, they’re all juniors and seniors. This really sucks. All I can and will hope for is to change. I will use this summer wisely. I just hate what is around me and this is the only way I can make it better. This is literally the only actual thing wrong with me is, well me. Huh; aint life a bitch.

May 6th

5/6/08
Still not dead. I am so tired. I have no idea what’s going on anymore. It’s so close to the end of the year and all I can think about is how sad it’s going to be to not have any friends anymore. They’re all seniors and it makes me feel weak. I wish I was a senior or something; I have no relationship with current sophomores. I know it sounds babyish to be thinking this but it’s all I can do right now. My appearance is not changing. The only thing that is truly wrong with me right now is all over me. I can’t change it and I fucking hate what I’ve become. Thanks “god.”

January 13th

1/13/08
I was so close to doing it. I’m so sad, my heart hurts. She said you can’t buy friendship and I almost burst into tears. What am I doing. I want to die. There. I’m drowning, someone, anyone help me. I’m so far gone I’m not even sure you could. I’ve lost all my friends. They were never friends, but it was okay. I hate myself for what I’ve become.